wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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