I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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