I love having hate sex.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
