Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
