ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
