We need to rekindle our bromance
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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