I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
