oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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