I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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