i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
