awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
