Can Purell be used as lube?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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