just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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