I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
be right there i have to get my cape
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
