she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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