just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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