kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So much Jack, so little girl.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
