i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
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Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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