if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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