your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
