I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
