Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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