Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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