dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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