Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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