i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
