But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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