its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
