He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
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I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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