If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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