In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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