ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
