Define "chronic" masturbator.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
