we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
