We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
