If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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