What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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