Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Operation Purity has been aborted
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
