Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
They took my balls.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
