It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face