So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.