We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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