I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
