What a fucking waste of an outfit
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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