I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
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