when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
