But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
