I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i believe in u and ur pee
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
