You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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