I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize