would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We have so much sex to catch up on
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
