and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
