Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
sex in a hospital.. check
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
