dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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