Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
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Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
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I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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