I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
