My underwear smells like fireworks.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
