she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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