We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
