my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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