I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
