it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
