Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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