why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She's the barista slut.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
